Day 25- Move Out of His Way
Yesterday, we looked at our call to be fruity for Jesus. He is producing the fruit of The Spirit in us. Our fruit should be evident to all through the outpouring of our lives to others.
At this point in our Faith Journey, Ron and I have set-up a full-fledged after school program for Deaf children and their siblings. Each day, students were bussed to us. We had amazing volunteers and enjoyed having these children with us each afternoon. We provided hands-on tutoring help through Sign Language and worked on life skills with the older kids. On Wednesday nights, the parents were on campus for Sign Language and parenting classes.
As the Deaf children’s Ministry was growing, so was our ministry to Deaf adults. We offered interpreted services on Sundays, as well as, Bible study. And, our after school program provided service opportunities for our Deaf adults. We were amazed at all God was doing because we faithfully stepped through His open door.
At this time, Ryan was getting ready to transition from elementary school to middle school. As I began praying over and preparing for his IEP meeting, I just felt uneasy. I was not at peace about sending Ryan to middle school. I had heard stories of bullying and was not knowingly going to send Ryan into an abusive environment. So, we prayed about an alternative. The only answer that The Lord provided…home school.
“AAAHHHHHH!!! NO!!!!! Lord Jesus, please! This can not be the only alternative to public school for a Deaf kid.”
Please do not get me wrong, all you home school mommas, I admire you…I look up to you…I have the utmost respect for you. I just didn’t want to be one of you. I still do not feel that home schooling Ryan was my giftedness but it was necessary. For this season, I had to buckle down, and do what was best for Ryan.
I was so thankful that my friend, Joyce, came to the rescue again. She helped me get Ryan through science and math. Without her, poor Ryan was doomed in these subjects. I already confessed my severe inadequacy in the home school department. It was a struggle…for me. It had nothing to do with Ryan at all. I was not an educator. I never dreamed of being a teacher. Each lesson involved hours of reading and prep work in order to adequately explain content in Sign Language to Ryan. However, Ryan loved it and did very well. We persevered through 4 years of home school together.
Then, it happened! My sweet, compliant, rule keeping, obedient Ryan, hit “that age.” You know…the age where kids become teens and turn into aliens right before your very eyes. Oh my…the last year of home school was horrible e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y! Two days ago I shared how conflict brings change. Well, we were certainly in the middle of conflict and needed change. But, what did that look like?
As I prayed over Ryan each morning, I pleaded for wisdom, patience, and nerves of steel. As Ron and I discussed Ryan’s behavior, we began to lean toward putting Ryan in public high school. To be honest, that was scarier than toughing out the next three years in home school.
But, I swallowed my fear and began exploring putting Ryan back in public school. I contacted the necessary departments for their guidance. I was instructed to visit our neighborhood high school and set-up a meeting. Throughout this process, I walked through doors The Lord opened and begged Him to slam doors shut if I was headed down the wrong hall way.
From the moment I stepped foot in the guidance office of Durant High School, I had His peace. I felt welcome, everyone was friendly and helpful, and if they did not have the answer…they committed to get it. Before long, Ryan was registered for high school. However, he was not happy about it! Not one bit!
Ryan had become used to finishing school at around 1:00pm each day with no homework. He enjoyed the flexibility that home school offered and was not excited to have that freedom strangled by school rules, homework, and class schedules.
He protested so much that I began to doubt the decision I felt The Lord had placed so strongly on my heart…
- Read Exodus 4:10-17
What excuse did Moses make to The Lord?
How did God confirm His call to Moses?
The more I prayed about sending Ryan to high school, the more The Lord confirmed that it was the right choice. In my mind, I thought that if it was the right decision, Ryan would be on board…he was not. He finally shared with me that he was scared of being different, had a fear of bullying, and did not think he could manage changing classes and all that involved. Ryan felt overwhelmed and inadequate.
But what The Lord revealed to me through His Word and exhaustive prayer was that it was not me making the excuses this time… It was Ryan. He gave me His peace so I could push Ryan toward God’s purpose for his life. This decision was about Jesus care and love for Ryan. He desired to help Ryan understand a deeper faith in his Creator God. That required Ryan to step out of his comfort zone and trust that Jesus knew what was best. But, that meant The Lord needed me to trust Him with our Ryan once again. I had to reassure Ryan that God was for him.
“The Lord said to him, ‘Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” Exodus 4:11
Often we push our insecurities off on our children without realizing it. I don’t think it’s something we do intentionally. Our insecurities and doubts take root in us and become part of who we are. Then, without warning…they come out in our parenting. What can happen if we are not careful, is that we stifle our children’s God-given call. We can become so paralyzed by our “what-if” scenarios that we try to keep our loved ones in a bubble instead of allowing God to be God in their lives.
As we travel our Faith Journey, let’s be mindful that just as God has worked in and through our lives, He will do the same for those we love. I know it’s impossible to believe, but The Lord loves them more than we do.
Pray and then trust Him for the outcome of those you love. He has a work to do in their lives. You do not want to do anything to block The Lord’s refining and character building that’s necessary for their call, right?! God’s gonna need you to move out of His way.
Sisters, say this with me…”move it, move it, move it!”
Praying with you and for you as we keep movin’ on down the road.
