Tag: faith journey

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Faith Journey-Day 4

Day 4- Is God Good?

On Day 3, we discussed The Lord as the “Master Dot Connector” in each of our lives. He takes what seems like randomness and connects us to others to accomplish His plan with perfect precision. Today, we are going to start wrestling with the question of God’s goodness. When pain and suffering come into our lives, is God good?

The day we had dreaded most finally arrived. At six months old, Ryan was diagnosed as “failure to thrive.” His cardiologist determined that he needed open-heart surgery sooner rather than later. Ryan was so frail and weighed only 11 pounds.

At Ryan’s pre-op appointment, Ron and I listen in horror as the cardiac surgeon explained the details of his open-heart surgery. The surgeon  went over how they would crack open Ryan’s little chest…stop his heart…place him on a heart by-pass machine…and operate on his tiny heart which was smaller than your two thumbs put together (knuckle to tip).

As we began the daunting process of preparing (emotionally) for surgery day God would, again, use Heidi, her husband, and their Ryan K to minister us (see Day 1 if you missed this story). Ryan K had made it through his open-heart surgery and was doing extremely well. They were an amazing encouragement of what could be.

A couple of nights before Ryan’s surgery, our young adult Sunday school class came to our home and held a prayer service over us. Heidi, Ryan K’s mom, brought a photo album of pictures she had taken right after his surgery. She asked to show them to me privately. Through tears she explained that she wanted us to be prepared for what our Ryan would look like after surgery. I remember looking at those pictures and being shocked at all the tubes and monitors hooked up to Ryan K’s little body. I am so thankful that the Lord prompted Heidi to take those photos so she could minister to me in such special way. The Master Dot Connector…2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Our long drive to the hospital was silent. I believe Ron and I were just physically exhausted and emotionally numb . I finally broke the silence with a question I had thought but never said out loud, “if Ryan doesn’t make it, should we donate his organs?” Ron’s voice cracked with his one word response, “yes.”

The day of the surgery, Ryan was so fussy and hungry. I was trying my hardest to calm him with just a pacifier while holding back tears of my own. It was time, the nurse came to escort us to the surgery holding area. When we arrived, Ryan snuggled into my neck and fell fast asleep. He was finally peaceful and relaxed. A few moments later the anesthesiologist took our sleeping, precious treasure into his arms. Ron and I  kissed Ryan’s sweet head and watched as he was walked down the hall and out of sight.

We both walked into the hall way and completely lost it. Ron and I held each other sobbing for what seemed like hours. We had literally just laid our greatest earthly treasure on the altar before The Lord.

Would God intervene and heal Ryan or take him home to heaven? Our Ryan was in His hands. There was absolutely nothing we could do, except pray.

The surgery was 6 excruciating hours. To our relief, Ryan made it through surgery without complications. We praise The Lord for that everyday. But…what if he had not? Is God still good? When the outcomes are not what we had hoped or prayed, is God still good?

With each new diagnosis, surgery, and therapy I wrestled with this question. Is God good? Remember, I am sharing my experience with you through a 22 year rear view perspective. At that time, in the middle of my valleys I experienced despair and yes, I had doubts about God’s goodness.

During this season, the floor of our spare bedroom became my prayer alter. It was there, over and over, that I questioned God’s goodness and poured out my feelings of doubt and unbelief. My problem was that I tried to define what I thought His goodness should be. From my finite understanding, I had a warped view of my situation and how God would show His goodness in the midst. God was patiently teaching me His character of goodness. God is not just good because of what he does…It’s who He is.

 

Read Psalm 46

 

Write out verse 1:

 

 

In “trouble” who is our help and refuge?

 

 

“God is good – not because he causes things that seem or feel ‘good’ to happen in our lives, but because in the midst of the storm, God comes closer to us than the storm could ever be.” Charles Spurgeon

 

 

In verse 7, who is our stronghold?

 

Stronghold means a high, safe place. Our God is our high, safe, refuge, and shelter.

Some of you are going through some STUFF! Painfully excruciating STUFF! The kind of stuff where even breathing and blinking hurt. Your God wants to become your stronghold if you will allow Him to.

 

Pray Psalm 46:1-5 back to the Lord. Allow Him to become your stronghold in the midst of your pain. To be able to proclaim with sincere honesty, “No matter what may come, God IS GOOD!”

 

 

Our Ryan hours after surgery. I’m so thankful God connected me with Heidi to prepare for this.

 

 

Praying for you, my friend. Stay on the Faith Journey !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Faith Journey-Day 3

Day 3- The Master Dot Connector

Yesterday’s devotion was about self-imposed “extreme guilt syndrome” and/or a heart check regarding sin. Difficult, I know. But, so necessary to our faith journey with The Lord.

Today, we will celebrate His active work in our lives as the Master Dot Connector! I am sure there are seasons in which we feel overwhelmed by what seems like random chaos in our lives. You can be confident, there is absolutely nothing random about our God. He was actively orchestrating His Master Dot Connecting skills in our lives even before we were born.

I am adopted. My parents tried for six years to have children of their own. At their last appointment, the doctor told them that he had exhausted all options. He, then,  handed my mom a piece of paper containing the name and number of an adoption agency.

Six months later, they adopted me into their family. I love God’s divine plan but, also, snicker at  His sense of humor. Nine months after bringing me home, my mom was pregnant with my middle sister. And four years after that…OOPS! She was pregnant with my baby sister. My dad, bless his heart, was overrun with females. Even our dogs were female.

I always knew I was adopted. My parents did not keep that a secret from me. I was never made to feel “lesser than” my sisters. Through the years, I had questions about my birth parents and all the natural inquisitions about who I might look like. However, I was simply curious. It was never because I felt unloved or unwanted.

At age 18, my mom and I started a search for my birth parents with the adoption agency… nothing came of it. And life went on. I started college, married Ron, and then our Ryan came storming into our lives.

At around 3 months old, Ryan  had an  appointment with a geneticist. The purpose of this visit was to see if Ryan’s heart condition might be connected to a syndrome.

I was not prepared for the litany of questions regarding mine and Ron’s familial health history. I sat and listen intently as Ron recalled his family history to the best of his recollection. Then it was my turn…I had nothing. I explained that I was adopted and had no medical history. The geneticist’s next words hit me like a brick, “it might be time to have your birth records unsealed.” That just seemed like and overwhelming and daunting task at that time.

After the appointment, Ron went back to work and I headed home with a very tired and irritable Ryan. Maybe The Lord sensed my mounting stress…and decided to unburden me. Of course, I can only speculate on that. But, His timing was certainly awe-worthy to say the least, because that afternoon my phone rang,

“Hello, I’m not sure if you remember me but you and you mom started a search for your birth parents with our agency several years ago. We have just put in place a new search program for those wanting to find their biological parents and you came to my mind. I have found your birth mother and she is anxious to speak with you. Would you like her phone number?”

Ummm…YES, please!

This sweet lady at the agency had no idea how her obedience to the Holy Spirit’s prompting would lighten this girl’s load and minster to my spirit. I was able to share with her just what amazing timing she had through the Lord. She was a Christian and we shared a sweet time of prayer together before we hung up the phone.

That evening with my mom and hubby present, I called my biological mom, Ann. We talked for a long time. We shared and cried, shared and cried. Ann carried a huge amount of guilt about giving me up for adoption. I was able to unburden her heart by reassuring her that I had been given a wonderful life and God used her unselfish act of love to place me exactly where He desired.

I was, also, relieved to learn that there were no extreme health issues that she was aware of on her side of the family. Whew!

Ann lived in Ohio. But, we kept in touch by sharing letters and pictures back and forth for several years. Finally, through circumstances too lengthy to share, we were able to meet face to face for the first time at her home in Ohio.

I was able to have some time alone with Ann and her husband, Wylie. I took the opportunity to thank her in person for her selfless gift of love through adoption. I went on to share with them about my second adoption…into the Family of God. “Ann and Wylie, I don’t know what the future holds. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. But, if we never see each other again here on earth, it’s my prayer that we will see each other again in heaven one day. Can I tell you about my Jesus?”

Ann and Wylie accepted Christ that day. It was a precious time that I will cherish always. They have both gone home to be with Jesus. I am so grateful that I will see them again one day in Glory.

I know beyond all doubt that The Lord connected my adoption to the birth of my sweet Ryan. And then, circled back around to meeting and sharing Jesus with Ann and Wylie. He’s the Master Dot Connector, that’s just what He does.

My God-story is not unique. Each of us has a Master Dot Connector testimony. Let’s take time to be in awe of His great work in our lives and in the lives of those we love. Nothing happens by chance…He orchestrates it ALL.

  • Read Ephesians 1

What does it mean to be chosen in Him before the foundations of the earth (vs 4)?

 

Are you “adopted” by God? Take a minute to share your testimony of your salvation (adoption) experience.

 

 

Read back over it and praise Him for His redeeming, dot connecting work in your life that led to your salvation. If you are reading this and you do not have a God adoption story, please contact me below.

 

Think about the dots The Lord has connected in your life? Relationships, opportunities to share Jesus, compassion connections, ministry connections, adoption, birth stories, friendships, job opportunities, mission trips, and etc. Write down a few.

 

These connections are ministry. The Lord is living and active in our lives. He takes what we see as randomness and connects the dots. There are people in our lives that are meant to be a blessing to us and then there are people we are meant to bless. Each God-connection is ordained. Yes, even the EGR (Extra Grace Required) people God has strategically placed in your life.

Pray, today, that the “eyes of your heart” will be enlightened to His consistent and amazing work in your life. That you will know and walk into the hope of your calling, sweet sister.

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe…” Ephesians 1:18-19

I’m praying for you!