Tag: Jesus

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Faith Journey-Day 7

Day 7- Profound Silence

It was the end of summer, 1997, Ryan was 18 months old. My husband and I were waiting for the audiologist to finish Ryan’s sedated hearing test. Because Ryan did not receive a hearing test while he was in NICU after his birth, his pediatrician set the appointment for us. It was routine… Just another doctor’s appointment to add to the growing list.

Finally, after an hour, we were called back to be with Ryan and learn the test results. The audiologist took a deep breath and said, “your son is profoundly deaf. We did the test twice just to be sure. Ryan can not hear anything out of either ear… I’m so very sorry.”

We did not expect that AT ALL. We were in denial and completely ignorant…Ryan seemed so keenly aware of his surroundings and babbled like crazy. In fact, one of Ryan’s specialists rang a bell next to his head and he turned. Deaf, really?! This was just supposed to be an easy, routine appointment for once!!! We were in shock.

The next day, I was playing with Ryan on our living room floor. He was laughing out loud enjoying our playtime together. I looked at him in disbelief. This child could not possible be deaf. I decided to do my own home hearing test. I went around the corner and began to bang pot and pans hoping for a reaction…Nothing. Then, I turned on our stereo full blast…Nothing. I called his name from around the corner just out of his line of sight…Nothing.

Over the next days and weeks, I began to set my mind on finding a solution. The questions swirling around in my head were about hearing aids, sign language, retesting, and about a million other things I was completely clueless about.  I spent hours on the phone talking with doctors, audiologists, and specialists trying to find out how to “fix” Ryan’s deafness.  20 years ago, the web was slow and tedious. So, I began reading books about deafness from the library and tracking down people who could help me better understand what we were facing.

During this time of my “solution seeking expedition” regarding Ryan’s deafness, I decided to take him to “story-time” at our church library. It was a fun time with my friends and their toddlers. The librarian was a skilled story-teller and always made it memorable. This was our first time back since Ryan’s diagnosis.

As the librarian began telling the story, I got a lump in my throat as I held back tears. Ryan could not hear the inflection and excitement in her voice. I watched the other toddlers getting excited with each turn of the page. Ryan… had no reaction at all. Why had I not noticed this before?

Story time ended, I did not stay around for fellowship. I could not get out of there fast enough! I barely got Ryan buckled into his car seat before I burst into tears. My first instinct was to drive directly to my mom’s house…. she was not home. Then, I tried to call my husband, Ron, at work…. he was unavailable.

I had no choice…God was calling me to Himself.

I rushed home, got Ryan settled in for a nap, and headed to my spare bedroom “prayer altar” yet again. My Ryan could hear NOTHING. Sound had no meaning to him what-so-ever. He did not know the sound of mine or his dad’s voice. He never heard the millions of times I said, “I Love You.” I’m Ryan’s mom, how did I miss the signs?! Would he ever hear my voice?! Oh Lord, how could this possibly be your will?!  How can any good come from this at all?!

As I have shared, this was not the first time I have cried out to The Lord over Ryan. But this time was different. I had to completely release my ideas of “normal” in relation to our precious son. I was literally grieving Ryan’s diagnosis of profound deafness much like you would someone’s death. Over the next several weeks, I experienced all 5 stages of grief:

shock…denial…anger…bargaining…depression…testing…acceptance.

Our lives would be forever different. We had a deaf son. What did our “new normal” even look like?

 

  • Read Psalm 146:

 

In verses 6-9, list those that The Lord upholds, helps, sets free, heals, loves, watches over, and sustains:

 

Are you on that list? Yep! You are not forsaken or overlooked, my friend.

Imagine standing in the middle of a valley surrounded by mountains on every side. The only way out is to go up and over a mountain.  Do you think the journey will be easy? Absolutely not! The task seems overwhelming, tiresome, emotionally and spiritually draining.

Even when we fail to understand God’s purpose…we must trust His heart. I can promise that when you reach the mountain peak, you will look back and see The Lord’s guiding in every step of the journey. You may have callous on your feet from the long and tedious trek up that mountain, but guard your heart from becoming calloused toward The Lord. He is for you.

Pray and ask The Lord to sustain you. You are not on this Faith Journey alone. He’s your guide. So, let Him guide…you follow.

I am continually lifting you up before the Father. Until tomorrow…

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Faith Journey-Day 6

Day 6-Holiness

Yesterday’s devotion, was based on Romans 5:1-5. To actively seek The Lord in crisis produces perseverance…perseverance produces hope…our hope in Christ alone brings about holiness through the work of The Holy Spirit in our lives.

Today, Let’s continue the theme of holiness…

As you have traveled this Faith Journey with me, on Days 1-5, I shared how God was beginning to teach me His character and develop that character in me. It was and is an active ongoing process between the two of us.

Let me try to explain it this way…I can describe to you the most gorgeous place on this earth. I can even show you pictures. You might grasp some of what I am trying my best to explain.  But, if I take you there you can truly experience it. You can grasp the beauty, the awe, the smells, the sights, and the sounds for yourself. Then and only then, will you fully understand.

In the same way, we cannot experience the character of God that produces holiness without Him taking us there. Most often we learn who He is down in the valleys of life. The difficulties, hardships, sicknesses, loss, and so on define our walk with Christ like nothing else ever could. I could not experience the peace of God until I desperately NEEDED His all-consuming peace to flood the deepest part of my anguish. I learned perseverance with each new diagnosis. My hope came out of my perseverance. I began to grasp His goodness because of who He is and not just what he does. 

Re-read James 1:1-5 from yesterday’s devotion:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance(patience). Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4 (emphasis mine)

 Take a look at Galatians 5:22-2:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23

Here’s the deal—The characteristics of God produced in our lives do not happen overnight. Oh, how I wish they did. Fruit does not grow over-night. It’s a process, right?! Therefore, the work of the Holy Spirit is to make us Christ-like. To become Christ-like (holy) is an ongoing, growing process.

Galatians lays out the 9  “fruit of the Spirit.” Notice it does not say “fruits of the Spirit.” Why? Because they are one unit. To be holy as Christ is holy means to exhibit all 9 “fruit“ simultaneously. In order for that to happen, The Lord will help us work out each of the“fruit” individually before they can be displayed through our lives as one unit.

When (not if)The Lord allows trial in our lives, He is building a foundation of trust and dependence on Him that develop holy characteristics in our lives.

Your homework today is to trace the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. Write the circumstance and/or the scripture The Lord used to help produce the “fruit of the Spirit”…His character…his holiness in your life.

(Galatians 5:22-23″)

 

Love—

 

Joy—

 

Peace—

 

Patience (endurance or perseverance)—

 

Kindness–

 

Goodness—

 

Faithfulness—

 

Gentleness—

 

Self-control—

 

It’s okay if your “fruit” is still in the ripening process. Remember, we are all a work in progress. God is refining us…strengthening us…teaching us…sanctifying us…molding us to His likeness.

Pray that The Lord will continue to reveal Himself to you in a powerful way. We are meant to “display” Jesus for others to see. Take care of and cultivate your fruit of the Spirit today.

In the coming days, I will share Ryan’s diagnosis that changed everything…The Lord was building a foundation of faith in my life SO THAT I could accept what He was about to reveal.

Praying for you. Onward, my sister!

 

 

 

 

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Faith Journey- Intro

FAITH JOURNEY-INTRO

My faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord is the core of who I am. I have experienced Christ in profound ways in my life. I am certain that without a strong faith foundation, I would have been crushed under the circumstances in my life.

My life verse that has seen my through difficulties:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

At age 24, I gave birth to our son, Ryan. From a pregnancy standpoint, everything went swimmingly! There were no complications. When Ryan arrived he was seemingly healthy. He stayed in our room with us and we had an amazing night together as a family. It was at his pediatric check-up the next morning he exhibited “blue spells.” Our pediatrician informed us that Ryan was being admitted to NICU for further testing. My husband, Ron, and I were devastated. How could God allow this to happen? We had prayed for Ryan even before he was conceived. WHY GOD??? resonated in our hearts and minds.

Looking in the rear view mirror, we can see God’s fingerprints all over our situation. He was comforting us SO THAT we could later comfort others. But, at the time we were devastated. Ryan was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect that would require open-heart surgery. The next weeks and months that followed were filled with endless specialist appointments…

If not for my relationship with Jesus Christ, I would have spiraled into a pit of despair. It was during this season, that The Lord led me to 2 Corinthians 3-8. While in my mind I knew that He was orchestrating our circumstances for our good and His glory, I was beginning to experience a crisis of faith.

I want to share my story of faith-crisis in hopes it might encourage others. I want to be clear…I never doubted that God existed or my salvation, but I was feeling He had somehow abandoned us…

Please join me for a 30 Day Faith Journey. I will post a new devotion each day for the next 30 Days. You can subscribe to my blog to receive notice when new posts are added.