“Revolution-a sudden, complete or marked change in something”
Revolution?! Change?! What?! I know, right?! Change is almost a dirty word. Most of us hate it, if we’re honest. However, my goal is to show you that change in the form of what I like to call a REVOLUTION, can be amazing! It’s going against the grain and forging your own way of doing things based on your faith, family, and deep personal convictions.
My goal is to simply share my story in hope that is might inspire others.
I am the wife of a pastor, 26 years and counting. We have 2 sons that are in college. Our oldest son, Ryan, is Deaf. Our youngest son, Landon, is leaving for college in a few weeks {SOB}! Some revolutions we start ourselves and others are thrust upon us. Because Ryan is Deaf, we are a signing family. Most of my life, I have had to forge my own revolution because I had no real resources to draw from. We were completely clueless about raising a Deaf child. Prayer, Prayer, and more Prayer were the only options we had. It was through those prayers that God placed the right people in our lives at the perfect time.
There have been amazing milestones and unexpected turns along our revolution journey. I am excited to get started…
“So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work His good pleasure.” Philippians 2:12-13
This last year has brought about many changes for our family. My husband, Ron, is a pastor and had served at the same church for 13 years. Through circumstances only God could orchestrate, he accepted a position at a new church. This might not have been such an overwhelming endeavor had our youngest, Landon, not been entering his senior year of high school.
Landon was a football player and had many friends both at school and church. We did not want him to resent us for forcing him to move at such a monumental time in his life. We decided to allow Landon to decide whether he would move with us or not. We still had family in town and were willing to let him stay with them in order to finish his senior year. To be perfectly honest, the only reason we would even consider leaving this decision up to our 17-year-old is because our move was only an hour and a half way.
A few weeks into the process, Landon sat us down and said, “I have prayed a lot about whether to stay here and finish high school or move with ya’ll and start my senior year at a new high school. I feel God is telling me He wants me to move with my family.” After many tears and additional discussion, Ron and I were blown away and grateful at the maturity and faith that our baby boy was exhibiting.
I wish that I could share with you that Landon’s senior year was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G…but it was not. Landon could not break through the political schemes of his new high school football coaching staff. No matter how hard he worked, it was coach politics over talent or ability. We have NEVER given our boys permission to quit anything they start. However, this time, we did. I don’t say that flippantly, Landon had aspirations to play collegiate football. We all knew that quitting would forfeit that option.
Again, Landon showed fortitude, wisdom, and determination beyond his age. He did not quit but subjected himself to humiliation at the hands of “adult” coaches for the next several weeks. He kept saying, “I’m not a quitter.”
For those not familiar with high school athletics, there is a special designated night called “Senior Night.” And Senior Night in high school football world is kind of a big deal. It’s the last home game seniors will play for their high schools. Landon’s Senior Night was filled with heart breaking emotions for all of us. I remember hugging him after the game and whispering in his ear how sorry I was his senior football experience did not go the way we had hoped and prayed. Landon was resolved but I could tell he was hurting.
After football season, Ron and I tried to help Landon focus on finishing strong and looking toward his college choices. He did receive some football offers but never had peace about any of them. In fact, Landon was struggling with anxiety during this time. He pictured his senior year going much differently. He had an expectation of his own making. He believed that God would allow his football season to be spectacular because he had stepped out in faith to move with us. When his expectations of God were not met in the way he imagined, Landon (admittedly), struggled with his faith. God did not work out Landon’s senior year the way he had pictured or expected which led to a faith-crisis.
How many times in our lives have we (adults) experienced that same faith-crisis? In our minds we knew exactly what God should do in our situations and yet He did not answer the way we expected. Many times, I have exclaimed to The Lord, “I stepped out in faith…where are You in this thing?!” In my own faith journey I struggled to get outside of my own head and expectations to fully depend on the sovereignty of my Savior.
During this particular season, I remember praying and journaling to the Lord to redeem this year for Landon. I begged the Lord to show him His faithfulness in such an amazing and powerful way. Most importantly, I pleaded for the Lord to heal Landon from the overwhelming feelings he was experiencing and to bind the enemy.
Then…on Mother’s Day 2018, The Lord showed up BIG TIME for Landon. Dr. Rodney Carr walked into our church with his mom for Mother’s Day. His mom was a member of our church and Dr. Carr was there to visit her. Little did we know that he was also there to meet Landon. Dr. Carr is the Vice President of Student Success at Valdosta State University. He invited Landon to visit VSU on a special tour with the possibility of playing football. What??!!!
Our visit to VSU was scheduled the day before Landon’s graduation. He loved the campus and got the opportunity to tour the football facilities and meet the coaches. Since our visit was the end of May, the coach explained that they had been filling their roster since November of last year and it was full. He did invite Landon to join the football team in the spring. Landon was a little disappointed but not discouraged. However, God was not done yet…
Landon’s major is Exercise Physiology. It’s his goal to be a professional strength and conditioning coach. After our visit, the football staff and Dr. Carr orchestrated a plan for Landon to work for and with VSU’s strength/conditioning coach his first semester on campus. Who but God alone?! Landon has such a peace and excitement about his college career. God’s timing and sanctifying work is always perfect. Now…College decision made, Landon’s anxiety has subsided, and he has an amazing testimony to share of God’s faithfulness in his own life.
Why do I share all of this? I have prayed for my boys a bold but difficult prayer since they were little. I prayed that The Lord would teach them faith and dependence on Him at a young age. I have had to watch both of my sons “work out their salvation” through various trails and circumstances in their young lives. It has been difficult to watch. There were times I regretted praying that prayer. But God…was and is faithful, always. Ron and I could talk about the Lord’s faithfulness to Landon all day because we have experienced it ourselves. But, Landon needed to learn it personally from His Savior.
Moms and Dads, be careful not to swoop in and rescue when you know God is at work in your child. Don’t take the place of the Holy Spirit in your son or daughter’s life. Let God do His sanctifying work. At times it will be difficult to watch them work out the sanctification of their salvation. But, remember everything He does in our children’s lives are for their good and His Glory. Hang in there and stay on your knees on their behalf. It will be so worth it…I promise.
I am the only female in our family. My husband, Ron, taught our boys to cherish me as a princess. He did a wonderful job teaching our sons to honor me and other females in their lives. Ron instilled character traits that would translate into honoring their future wives. Both my boys treated me with dignity and chivalry as modeled by their dad. My car door has always been opened for me, as well as, doors entering any establishment. We strongly believed our boys could be both chivalrous AND dudes who loved football, shooting guns, etc.
Since our boys were little, we have prayed regularly for their future wives and their families. God has answered one of those prayers. Her name is Abigail.
Our youngest son, Landon, is getting married. Some of you who know us, are doing the math. Yes…Landon is 19 years old. Abigail is 18. Some have asked, “why in the world are they getting married so young?!” Our answer; why not?
Let me explain…
Ron and I raised our sons to approach dating very seriously. We did not allow our boys to text or call girls when they received their phones at age 13, even to the snickers from our Christian friends who thought we were going overboard. However, we felt strongly that those conversations, even through texting, could lead to emotional relationships we knew our boys were not mature enough to handle. And, since they were not old enough to even contemplate dating, those opposite-sex friendships needed to have healthy boundaries.
When Landon was sixteen (and a half), he expressed a desire to start dating. Our requirement was that Landon go through the True Love Project before entering into a dating relationship. This study discourages “sport dating,” and emphasizes cherishing a young lady’s heart in a God-honoring way.
Let me be clear…at the time, Landon thought we were being ridiculous. He did not enter into this study with joy, but out of duty. In spite of his protest, we saw God work in Landon’s life. I love how God’s Word accomplishes its purposes even when we approach it as an obligation.
Ron and I poured into Landon, helping him to understand the benefits of establishing boundaries in dating relationships, both physically and emotionally. Most importantly, we wanted Landon to take his role as spiritual leader with the “weight” of responsibility it requires. When Landon wanted to date a young lady, it was our requirement that he first talk with her dad before asking her out. This served two purposes: it was a sign of respect for her and thwarted “careless” dating without prayerful contemplation.
I wish I could tell you Landon did the “dating thing” perfectly. He did not. He got his heart broken, and sadly, also broke a young lady’s heart. There were a couple of times Landon stepped outside the boundaries that we had established, only to realize mom and dad were right and had his best interest at heart all along. These two failures gave us the opportunity to discuss what went wrong and to provide spiritual counsel for future relationships.
Then, in December 2017, Landon’s face lit-up describing a young lady he had met at school named Abigail (Abbie). Ron and I had not seen that in Landon before. He actually blushed as he shared all the attributes he liked about her and how she was different, in a positive way. We prayed for and with Landon as he sought her father’s blessing before asking her out.
Abigail had Landon’s heart from the start, as he did hers. She is beautiful inside and out. The way she loves Landon makes this mama’s heart feel at peace. Most importantly, Abigail loves Jesus and desires to be a godly wife. We have seen Landon cherish Abigail’s heart as unto The Lord by being the spiritual leader in their relationship. They have diligently taken extra steps of accountability to keep themselves pure. Together, they want to honor their Savior with their lives as husband and wife.
Abigail’s dad, Sid, is a pastor as well. Neither Sid nor Ron could biblically find reason for them not to get married. “Being too young” is not in the Bible. “Having a college degree first”, is not in the Bible. “Waiting until you are financially stable”, is not in the Bible. Therefore, they have the blessing and support of their families as they marry and head off to college together. Landon and Abigail are under no illusion that their “happily ever after” will be free of hardship and challenges. However, with the Lord’s help, they will face those difficulties and come out with a deeper faith and dependance on the One and Only.
Parents and Grandparents–Let’s be careful not to impose our feelings about waiting to marry or citing cultural “norms” above Biblical counsel. Don’t delay in taking due diligence on the front end before your child starts dating. I believe we, parents, put more emphasis on athletics, GPA’s, SAT’s, and ACT’s rather than helping our children prepare Biblically for a covenant marriage.
I am sure that some may criticize, but here it goes anyway…allowing your 13-15 year old children to enter into romantic, boyfriend/girlfriend relationships sets them up for heartbreak and failure. You are allowing them to toy with feelings and emotions that they are not physically or spiritually equipped to handle. As Christ followers, we should seek to parent counter-culturally and pro-scripture. A foundation built on Jesus Christ will not crumble when the winds and storms come. Our children need to see Jesus lived-out in our own homes and marriages with deep conviction and without hypocrisy. Deuteronomy 6 instructs us to teach our children “as we go.” Everyday brings new opportunities to teach and disciple. Raising godly children is not for wienies…it’s hard work and perseverance as unto The Lord. But, well worth the investment!
Jesus said, “they are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.” Luke 6:48
On Day 11 we took a little Faith Journey detour. We had just dropped out youngest off at college and I felt led by the Holy Spirit to share my thoughts and heart on that emotional milestone.
Back on the road. Today, we will learn that God does not always work within the confines of cultural or worldly expertise. He’s God. He has a plan. Many times His plan means having the courage to step-out in faith in the midst of unpopular decisions that go against cultural or expert opinions.
Ryan was progressing well. He was able to communicate his basic wants and needs through Sign Language and was getting around in his walker with speed, but not necessarily with accuracy. Our poor walls and furniture took quite a beating.
Simultaneously (for almost a year), we had been testing various kinds of hearing aids. To our dismay, none worked. Ryan did, however, learn that if you take them off and throw them across the room…mommy runs, frantically. He thought that was hilarious. Hearing aids are NOT cheap, of course, I fetched them.
I had done a lot of research and talked with his ENT about an internal hearing device called a Cochlear Implant. At that time, it was still experimental and considered a last resort. Well, we were at our last resort. The surgery, itself, was intense and there was no guarantee it would work.
I, also, discovered in my research that the Cochlear Implant was frowned upon by many in the Deaf community. The general consensus was that hearing parents were trying to “fix” their Deaf children and that the choice should be left up to the child when they were old enough to make the decision.
The problem with waiting is that the part of your brain that processes sound begins to shut down, around age 5, if it’s not stimulated. In addition, the ability to produce speech is greatly diminished as well.
As parents, we want the best for our children. It’s our responsibility to give them every opportunity at our disposal. So that, they can become whatever God has planned for them. Ron and I discussed and prayed exhaustively over this decision. We prayerfully decided to move ahead with the Cochlear Implant. Our prayer was not to “fix” Ryan’s deafness, but to open up possibilities. Then later, allow Ryan make his own decision to continue to use the Cochlear Implant or not.
So, eight weeks before Ryan’s 3rd birthday, he had surgery to receive the internal portion of his Cochlear Implant. It was a 5 hour procedure and 6 weeks of healing time. Looking back, I am so thankful Ryan had a year of Sign Language before the CI surgery. We did not miss a step in communication what-so-ever.
Six weeks later, through the miracle of technology, our Ryan heard mine and his dad’s voice for the very first time. I will never forget it…that day is forever an Ebenezer in my life.
In the weeks that followed, Ryan began “hearing therapy.” He had never heard sound before. He was very much like a new-born baby learning and processing sounds all around him. We were strongly encouraged by the speech and language specialist to discontinue Sign Language. We tried to be open-minded and set an appointment with a suggested school that specialized in speech without using Sign.
While we were in the waiting room, there was a video playing about the school and their methodology. After a few minutes, Ron and I looked at each other, shook our heads and walked out. This was not what God desired for us or for Ryan. We were not giving up the only communication Ryan had. We would work on his speech while continuing Sign Language. This method is called “total communication.” This was a significant decision for us. But, at the time, we did not realize just how important it was to our call in the not so distant future.
Read Isaiah 55: 8-11
Explain in your own words what these verses mean to you.
Read Psalm 103: 11-12
What does The Lord have toward us?
Tell about a time in your life God asked you to “go against” the cultural or expert advice you received. What happened?
When you and I have established a faithful trust walk with The Lord in our life, we are able to step-out and follow Him even when it’s not the most popular idea. His ways are higher than ours. He has great loving kindness toward us. His leading doesn’t always guide us down the easy path but it will lead us down the best path…one step closer to our calling.
**Warning** On this note… Please understand that going “against the grain” of popular consensus does NOT mean going against God’s Word. That’s not God’s leading, it’s the enemy’s. Do not be deceived, my friend!
Pray for those decisions you need to make that are not popular but that you KNOW The Lord is leading you toward. Ask Him for the courage to step out in faith.
We are a little more than a third of the way in our Faith Journey together…stay with me. Jesus is worth the trek! Praying for you…
On Day 10, I shared how our Ryan was learning to walk with a pint-sized walker. I hope you saw his picture. He was just so determined…and fast! We took a look at Colossians 1:9-13. God’s desire is to “fill us up with the knowledge of His will…so that we may walk worthy of The Lord.” Walking worthy is an active faith.
Today we will take a little detour on our Faith Journey. I had saved room toward the end of this 30 day devotion for this particular entry. However, I felt led to share it real-time.
As a background for today’s entry, I wrote a post about our youngest son, Landon’s senior year of high school. I shared how God had done amazing things in and through him despite unmet expectations. This writing will help you better understand the amazing young man Landon has become. If you have not already done so, please take a few minutes to read Landon’s Faith Journey this year: https://christadeann.com/family-helping-our-children-navigate-difficult-decisions/
As a continuation to Landon’s Faith Journey (and mine), this past week we dropped him off at college.
This summer, Landon and I worked together to prepare for his college departure. He and I shopped all summer for the necessary college dorm paraphernalia. We discovered it’s necessary to plan well for creative storage solutions. We talked through what might and might not work, picked out bedding, and shopped for small appliances and school supplies.
Finally, the day we had been preparing for all summer had arrived. We packed the car and head for Valdosta State University. After arrival, we worked hard to get Landon settled and organized in his new digs. When all was done, the 4 of us had a sweet time of prayer over Landon, his new home, his roommate, and his new mission field that God had called him to.
The next day, Ron, Ryan, and I finished up some last-minute shopping in Georgia while Landon was at orientation. That afternoon, we dropped his items off, hugged him, said our “good-byes,”and left without Landon.
In that moment, the daunting realization overcame me, Landon was not coming home with us…He was home. Landon’s new address was VSU, Valdosta, Georgia.
I cried off and on all the way home. I was not emotional because I thought Landon was outside of God’s will for his life. I was emotional because our role of “raising” him was done. I had the sobering realization that our roles now shift from parenting to advising. We have trained Landon up to the best of our ability with The Lord’s grace and guidance. Now it’s his turn, Landon has to be his own man and grow into the spiritual warrior God has designed him to be…apart from us. My head knows this well. However, my heart is having a hard time catching up.
For the past couple of days, I have instinctively gone into Landon’s room to say good night…he’s not there. I have looked out the window for his truck…it’s not there. I have walked down the hall to ask what he wanted for dinner…he’s not there. It’s harder than I ever imagined. I miss him terribly.
In the blink of an eye, eighteen years of care, nurture, discipline, discipleship, love, prayer, worry, homework help, doctors appointments, orthodontist appointments, school shopping, and football games all while under the safety and security of the Smith home…are done. My role now is to pray for Landon and advise when asked. AND…keep him accountable for his grades since we are paying the bills, of course! 🙂
This is the beginning of a new season for us and for Landon. Ron and I will have to navigate without him under our roof every night. We have to place him before the altar of The Lord and trust that He will meet Landon’s every need. I trust the Only One who can because, “Thus far, The Lord has helped us.”
Read Deuteronomy 6:7-9
What are we to teach our children?
What does this scripture tell us about how we should teach them?
Read Proverbs 22:6
What do you think the phrase “train up a child in the way he should go” means?
My husband taught on Proverbs 22:6 in a way that was eye opening several years ago. He shared that this Proverb (wisdom or councel ) it is not a promise. We would like to think it is, of course. The truth is that to “train up a child in the way he should go,” means to be a learner of your child’s natural and spiritual giftedness. Understanding this, helps us to lead them toward God’s calling in their lives. When you and I are teaching The Lord’s commands in our home and becoming learners of our children; we are preparing them physically, emotionally, and spiritually for God’s work in their lives…for their callings.
We must be actively involved in the discipleship of our children. Pray with them. Have daily devotions with them. As Deuteronomy 6:7-9 instructs…as you go…teach. Take every opportunity to have conversations to raise them up in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. Our kiddos need to see authenticy in our Faith Journey. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what we say about scripture, if we are not living out scripture. That’s faith in action…be authentic.
Sending your children off to college or out into the world to pursue their adult calling causes some serious parenting reflection. But, there comes a point where we have to let go and let God…
Pray over your children and grandchildren today. Beg The Lord, on their behalf, to fill in the gaps of your influence with His grace. Praise Him for the fruit you already see being produced in their lives.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16- 17
I am praying for all you mommas sending your babies off to school. They grow up fast. Treasure every moment. I covet your prayers as I navigate this new season in my life.
As I stated in my “Faith Journey-Intro,” The Lord has worked profoundly in my life through the birth of our first-born son, Ryan. I have learned so much about the faithful character of God throughout my journey as being Ryan’s (and later, Landon’s) mom.
My prayer is that you will commit to just 30 days with me. Please feel free to print out the questions or copy and paste them into a word document.
I would love for you to ask questions, comment, or request prayer along the way. Now…let’s get started. I’m praying for you.
Day 1
The day after his birth, Ryan experienced a “blue spell” while being examined by his pediatrician. After many tests, we received the news that he had a congenital heart defect called “Tetralogy of Fallot [fa-loh].” This meant our Ryan would need open heart surgery.
Wait…why did Tetralogy of Fallot sound familiar to Ron and I?
One week before our Ryan was born, we got a call from a dear friend in our Sunday School Class. There was a couple in our class who had a baby boy three months earlier who was born with a heart defect. His name was Ryan K. My friend informed us that baby Ryan was being transported by helicopter to All Children’s Hospital for emergency open-heart surgery. Baby Ryan K. had a heart defect called “Tetralogy of Fallot.”
I want to stress this…”Tetralogy of Fallot” is a very rare heart condition. Affecting less than 20,000 babies per year.
And this was the 2ndtime in one week we had heard the term “Tetralogy of Fallot.” Both babies named Ryan. Coincidence?! Absolutely not! Only the Creator God could have orchestrated this connection. However, that is only seen from my rearview mirror perspective. At that moment in time, I was hurting too badly to see God’s hand in this situation. It was only when Heidi, Ryan K’s mom, reached out to me a short while later, that I began to see God’s grace and get a glimpse of His Sovereignty. I will share more of this God-connection in the days ahead together.
To say we were devastated about Ryan’s diagnosis would be a gross understatement. We left the hospital without Ryan. It’s hard to describe the feeling of coming home with an empty belly, empty arms, to an empty bassinet. I was so emotionally and physically drained but I knelt by the bassinet and sobbed. Ron joined me and we prayed and begged the Lord to take care of our precious Ryan.
After 7 long days of back and forth caring for Ryan in NICU, it was time for him to come home. We were given a list of “cardiac failure symptoms” to keep an eye on. I felt like I was on death watch. It was terrifying! Ryan was never out of my sight. At night, I slept with one hand in his bassinet so I could feel him breathe.
I was exhausted! Ryan rarely slept and when he did, I felt compelled to catch up on chores. Stupid, I know, but I thought I could handle everything. I would keep myself busy to avoid an all out breakdown. I was bound and determined to be strong. I would put on a happy face and tell everyone I was “fine.” After all…that’s what a good Christian did, right?!
To keep up with the “all is fine facade,” I enrolled in a women’s Bible study when Ryan was a few weeks old. This study went deep and cut to the core. One night during the teacher’s video segment she said something that echoed in my spirit like bull horn, “If you are angry with God, tell Him. He’s got big shoulders, he can handle it.” My heart began to beat out of my chest. That was it!!! I was down right ANGRY!
Since Ryan’s birth, I had cried, begged for healing, and cried some more. That night, I had the realization that deep down I was extremely angry with God for allowing Ryan to be born so sick. I had prayed about our situation, but I never told Him how truly heartbroken and betrayed I felt. After all, He could have prevented this, why didn’t He? What did Ron and I do to deserve this? What did our precious baby do to deserve this?
I couldn’t get home fast enough. I gave the Lord an earful that night. In our spare bedroom, lying on the floor…I yelled, cried, and poured out my frustrations and heart-break to my God with big shoulders.
What happened next was completely unexpected. God poured out His peace that surpasses understanding. I had never experienced that downpour of peace before. I was so overcome and comforted by it that I stayed to rest in His presence for a while.
When I finally got up off the floor, my son was not instantly healed and all our problems did not vanished. But, My God was faithful to continue to pour out His peace and comfort like I had never known. He was my Savior. He was my Lord. That night, He became my peace. I felt a calm assurance that He would see us through whatever was headed our way. This would not be the last time I poured out my heart on His BIG shoulders.
We will learn throughout our faith journeys that God does nothing without a purpose. But first, we must come before Him with honest, heartfelt confession about our situation…Let Him assure you of His presence and peace in the midst of difficulty.
Read Philippians 4:6-7 and Romans 8:26-28
Do you believe that God is for you and not against you?
Have you experienced His peace that surpasses understanding?
Tell about a time you unleashed your deepest hurts on God’s big, broad shoulders. If you are in the middle of a deep valley of hurt, take time now to go before Him and pour out your heart.
Tell the Lord how you feel. Confess, repent, tattle, proclaim, adore, yell, thank, or ________________________.
Our God can be trusted. Nothing happens without his knowledge or permission. As you begin to sojourn with The Lord, you will see His mighty hand of guidance and preparation…for our good and His Glory.
Pray this promise back to the One who created you and knows you today–
“I know I am Your creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, that You, My God, prepared so that I my walk in them.”
“ For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time that we may walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
Hang in there, sweet friend. There is purpose in the pain. To end today, re-read 2 Corinthians 1:3-7. Why does God comfort us?
