Day 4- Is God Good?
On Day 3, we discussed The Lord as the “Master Dot Connector” in each of our lives. He takes what seems like randomness and connects us to others to accomplish His plan with perfect precision. Today, we are going to start wrestling with the question of God’s goodness. When pain and suffering come into our lives, is God good?
The day we had dreaded most finally arrived. At six months old, Ryan was diagnosed as “failure to thrive.” His cardiologist determined that he needed open-heart surgery sooner rather than later. Ryan was so frail and weighed only 11 pounds.
At Ryan’s pre-op appointment, Ron and I listen in horror as the cardiac surgeon explained the details of his open-heart surgery. The surgeon went over how they would crack open Ryan’s little chest…stop his heart…place him on a heart by-pass machine…and operate on his tiny heart which was smaller than your two thumbs put together (knuckle to tip).
As we began the daunting process of preparing (emotionally) for surgery day God would, again, use Heidi, her husband, and their Ryan K to minister us (see Day 1 if you missed this story). Ryan K had made it through his open-heart surgery and was doing extremely well. They were an amazing encouragement of what could be.
A couple of nights before Ryan’s surgery, our young adult Sunday school class came to our home and held a prayer service over us. Heidi, Ryan K’s mom, brought a photo album of pictures she had taken right after his surgery. She asked to show them to me privately. Through tears she explained that she wanted us to be prepared for what our Ryan would look like after surgery. I remember looking at those pictures and being shocked at all the tubes and monitors hooked up to Ryan K’s little body. I am so thankful that the Lord prompted Heidi to take those photos so she could minister to me in such special way. The Master Dot Connector…2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Our long drive to the hospital was silent. I believe Ron and I were just physically exhausted and emotionally numb . I finally broke the silence with a question I had thought but never said out loud, “if Ryan doesn’t make it, should we donate his organs?” Ron’s voice cracked with his one word response, “yes.”
The day of the surgery, Ryan was so fussy and hungry. I was trying my hardest to calm him with just a pacifier while holding back tears of my own. It was time, the nurse came to escort us to the surgery holding area. When we arrived, Ryan snuggled into my neck and fell fast asleep. He was finally peaceful and relaxed. A few moments later the anesthesiologist took our sleeping, precious treasure into his arms. Ron and I kissed Ryan’s sweet head and watched as he was walked down the hall and out of sight.
We both walked into the hall way and completely lost it. Ron and I held each other sobbing for what seemed like hours. We had literally just laid our greatest earthly treasure on the altar before The Lord.
Would God intervene and heal Ryan or take him home to heaven? Our Ryan was in His hands. There was absolutely nothing we could do, except pray.
The surgery was 6 excruciating hours. To our relief, Ryan made it through surgery without complications. We praise The Lord for that everyday. But…what if he had not? Is God still good? When the outcomes are not what we had hoped or prayed, is God still good?
With each new diagnosis, surgery, and therapy I wrestled with this question. Is God good? Remember, I am sharing my experience with you through a 22 year rear view perspective. At that time, in the middle of my valleys I experienced despair and yes, I had doubts about God’s goodness.
During this season, the floor of our spare bedroom became my prayer alter. It was there, over and over, that I questioned God’s goodness and poured out my feelings of doubt and unbelief. My problem was that I tried to define what I thought His goodness should be. From my finite understanding, I had a warped view of my situation and how God would show His goodness in the midst. God was patiently teaching me His character of goodness. God is not just good because of what he does…It’s who He is.
Read Psalm 46
Write out verse 1:
In “trouble” who is our help and refuge?
“God is good – not because he causes things that seem or feel ‘good’ to happen in our lives, but because in the midst of the storm, God comes closer to us than the storm could ever be.” Charles Spurgeon
In verse 7, who is our stronghold?
Stronghold means a high, safe place. Our God is our high, safe, refuge, and shelter.
Some of you are going through some STUFF! Painfully excruciating STUFF! The kind of stuff where even breathing and blinking hurt. Your God wants to become your stronghold if you will allow Him to.
Pray Psalm 46:1-5 back to the Lord. Allow Him to become your stronghold in the midst of your pain. To be able to proclaim with sincere honesty, “No matter what may come, God IS GOOD!”
Our Ryan hours after surgery. I’m so thankful God connected me with Heidi to prepare for this.
Praying for you, my friend. Stay on the Faith Journey !
